This week, I’ll be posting things I’ve found in my bedroom while cleaning up…

One of the things I found was this keychain whistle from Golden Krust. I think it’s rape whistle. I do think it’s odd that a restaurant chain would want to make put their name on something associated to rape …but maybe it’s responsible?

I know I’ve been thinking everyday about that rape incident I encountered on New Year’s Eve.  I think about it everyday. It haunts me. Even though I know I did what I could do in that moment, short of being Bruce Willis …I keep thinking, “shit. I ended up walking away from it.”

And just this past weekend, it happened again. Walking home late at night on the same street. This time I see a guy and a girl on a stoop. Looks like they are kissing, but I hear the girl shout out, “Stop! You’re hurting me.” I don’t know if it was a moment of redemption for me. I don’t know …But I crossed the street and asked them if everything was okay. It took them about five seconds to respond. Then the guy said it was cool. I wanted to wait this time for the girl to say something, but then a different girl on the sidewalk asked me for directions. Shit. It was the most jarring distraction with my mindset being set on confronting this couple. But after a minute of telling the girl how to get to the train, the couple was just standing there. So I walked away.

I felt like shit when I got home. Did I just fucking walk away for the second time? The first time ended in crime tape around a garage. I went back outside after I took a piss, but didn’t see them. I was freaking out and didn’t have anyone to talk to. So I went on Facebook to freak the fuck out. Whether that is the appropriate forum or not, my friends were there. It was helpful.

This whole past month I’ve been feeling like shit, thinking what I could have done differently. Even though the first guy reportedly had a gun, I still feel like I should have done something more if I knew or not. It was in a loop in my head. It didn’t even occur to me that what I felt was guilt. Dang, I don’t ever remember feeling guilty my whole life. I kept seeing that word in my facebook comments. I guess it was guilt. I looked up some articles on how to deal with guilt and it was so helpful. At least trying to understand what I was feeling –“unhealthy guilt.”

I know in both incidents, I didn’t know exactly what was happening at the moment. I did what I thought was right, but I do still feel the guilt. I know it’s not my fault and I’m working on it. I hope that sharing this can help other people …at least with the links and knowing that it happens. People can feel this way. And I know we can get through it.

I was showing my friends this “rape whistle” during our Super Bowl party. Someone mentioned maybe it’s a party whistle for the West Indian Parade. I guess that makes sense. It lights up too.

About The Author

Jason Lam

Food blogger since 2008. Hair model since 2003.

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2 Responses

  1. Obbop

    Then, on the other hand, as can be seen so often on the Cops TV show and so MANY newspaper stories across the USA…

    an outsider steps in even with the female screaming her head off and begging for outside help etc. etc. etc. that as soon as the outsider steps in the male AND female both attack the interloper… even when it is a uniformed cop who intervenes.

    Quite common.

    An aspect of female mentality that is quite common and has many reasons but the psychology is quite complex.

    Probably best to contact law enforcement as soon as possible and leave the immediate area as quickly as possible.

    Try to “play the hero” and it may be your word against the word (lies) even if your “intrusion” is only of good intent and YOU may be facing criminal charges AND a civil lawsuit that may strip you of much or all your wealth.

    It is today’s reality and but ONE of innumerable “things” in modern USA society that makes me generally view it as sick, diseased and generally unworthy of decent law-abiding moral educated folks…

    thus I distance myself from society in general as much as possible.

    Do not berate yourself… it was a no-win scenario.

    The “logic” and many (but not all) “morality” of the past is gone.

    Reply
    • Jason Lam
      Jason Lam

      Wise words. I keep thinking that the last incident, it was very possible that the girl would start attacking me.

      Reply

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