I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here’s his introduction.

Greetings from Galena, Missouri!

N 36° 47.079’ W 093° 30.350’ Elev. 885’

By way of introduction I am Tio Wally and I am a truck driver. While some may call the vehicle a semi, a tractor-trailer, a big rig or an 18-wheeler, I like to think of it as a land yacht. Jason is graciously allowing me to contribute to his blog and, better yet, has granted me the privilege of piloting the SS Me So Hungry around the country and file road-food reports. (Those of you with some nautical knowledge know “SS” is the universally recognized abbreviation for Steamship. In this case, however, it stands for Street Scow as this craft has a flat bottom and is used for transferring goods from Point A to Point B.)

As this is my maiden Me So Hungry entry it’s only fitting that I tell how I stock the stores for a cruise. I always start with homey things that I just can’t get “out there” like I like them, homemade comfort foods. Lately it’s been Egg Salad and Tuna Salad. It’s hard-to-virtually impossible to find these things on the road that are any good.

If I’m lucky enough to find Egg Salad I usually have to beef it up with mustard (deviled) or dill weed, depending on how I feel. The only Egg Salad I’ve ever found that I don’t have to “enhance” has been the Amish Deviled Egg Salad from Dierdorf’s(?), a St. Louis-area grocery store chain. Tuna Salad is more difficult still as I like it mixed fairly dry with Mayo, red onion, hard-boiled egg and canned peas. Tuna Salad is a pain to beef up as it requires a knife, a can opener, a bowl big enough to mix it in, hard-boiled eggs (good luck finding them), etc. As the galley is rather small in the land yacht, I don’t screw with that stuff anymore. In both cases, when mixing for the road drier always travels better — you can always make it wetter.

Rather than to take up too much of Jason’s space, let’s get right to the pre-roll check list:

Coleman Thermo-Electric Cooler working? Check.
Apple Juice? Check. Unsweetened, generic store brands travel best as sweetening tends to turn quickly;
Water? Three gallons. Running out of drinking water is a serious, serious crisis;
Lay’s Classic Potato Chips? Check.
Orowheat/Brownberry 100% Whole Wheat Bread? Check.
Homemade sandwich fixins? Check.
Baby Wipes? Check. Ah, baby wipes. A miracle product. When you get really tired you can pull one out and wipe your face and neck and … instant refreshment, you’re good for another 50 miles! Also, it’s a little known fact: Those puppies will take grease off of anything! ANYTHING!!
Empty half-gallon plastic jug? Check.

Okay. Let’s go for a cruise.

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht *SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road-food from around the country whenever parking and **InterTube connections permit. *Street Scow and **InterTube (aka “the Internet as memorably explained by Sen. Ted Stevens, R-AK”) are his terminology, not mine.

About The Author

Tio Wally

Tio Wally is pilot emeritus of the 75-foot, 40-ton land yacht SS Me So Hungry. Now a committed landlubber, he reports on food wherever he is whenever his fancy strikes.

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4 Responses

  1. Denise Ostler

    Finally my question answered about how a truck driver can survive on the open road. Now I can sleep. Except I’m craving egg salad. Ciao Tio Wally.

    Reply
  2. Obbop

    Hopefully we will read and learn about various foodstuffs wrapped in aluminum foil and placed atop the engine’s exhaust manifold for cooking.

    I am most eager to read about various meats doused with BBQ sauce intended to offer a BBQ-like experience.

    Reply
    • tio wally

      Funny you should mention that as I was thinking about that the other day. I met a guy one time who claimed he had manifold cooking dialed in. I ran into him again a few months later and asked him about it. He said he had a bad experience trying to cook a piece of fish. He’d wrapped it in aluminum with a pat of butter and a few slices of lemon but experienced APF — Aluminum Packet Failure. He said after paying $25 to get his engine steam cleaned he was kind of off the idea and had bought a crock pot (for $15). Haven’t seen that crackpot since.

      I’m still tempted to try it though. If I do I’ll definitely file a report.

      Reply

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