I’m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is in Morgan, Colorado.

Greetings from Fort Morgan, Colorado

N 40° 15.144’  W 103° 46.4839’  Elev. 4,312 ft.

We’re having issues out here.

The Home Plate 2 restaurant is a great place to park the power unit while the crew of the SS Me So Hungry waits, and waits, and waits … and waits a little longer for the gentle folks across the way to mercilessly kill a bunch of (hopefully) blissfully unsuspecting cattle, dress them out with industrial methodicalness, and load boxes of pieces — many, many pieces; 43,000 pounds (21.5 tons) of pieces — of their former carcasses into a bigger box, this one with wheels, refrigerated to a brisk 29 degrees.

Still, it’s not that much fun.

I’ve eaten at the Home Plate 2 many times, usually ordering a #19: Crispy Chili Rellenos (Smothered). At $7.50 for two rellenos, rice, beans, chips and salsa, and tortillas (on request), it’s a great deal. The green chili on top is great, too.

The chiles are the delightfully picante Anaheims that are ubiquitous to the Southwest. Lightly battered and fried to the perfect crispness, they come smothered in an awesome green chili, one that is every bit as worthy as the green chili served at the famed Gray’s Coors Tavern in Pueblo.

The last time I was here, after having the Rellenos, I took a nap and went back in just before they closed and ordered a Prime Rib Sandwich to go. It was on the Specials board for (I think) $7.95. Served with fries, I figured I’d scored.

My plan was to eat the sandwich and, since I would be waiting for awhile, go back to sleep. Life would be grand. Then I got back to the yacht and opened the box.

While the portion of prime rib was generous, it was so well-done that it didn’t taste like prime rib anymore. I don’t know why but once prime rib is cooked anything beyond medium it ceases to taste like prime rib. It’s a mystery only Alton Brown could solve.

This time I went in wanting breakfast. Knowing how much I loved the green chili served on the rellenos I ordered a Hamburger Patty & Two Eggs ($5.15) and got it smothered for an extra 95¢. How could I lose? It says right on the menu: It’s Fabulous Smothered for 95¢ Extra. Served with hashbrowns and (as I selected) a biscuit and gravy, I knew I couldn’t possibly go wrong. I was going to get a Slopper with my eggs! Yum.

I don’t know what happened during the wait, but the chili I was served was not green, or remotely fabulous. I even asked the waitress, “Is this green?” Despite her assurance to the contrary, it was indeed red. Look at the picture! And it sucked.

The predominate flavor in the “green” chili was red chili powder that tasted like it came from The Dollar Store; 24 ounces for only $1! And it had very few chunks of pork in it, though the ones that were there were tender. Still, I can’t believe she claimed it was green. Sheesh. Talk about time for an Ishihara Color Blindness test.

When sailing the vast Sea of Streets it’s sometimes very, very difficult to find food that’ll make you feel good, sate you. And it seems to run in stages, like a bad cold or the flu, or grief. When it happens it sucks. It really, really sucks.

There is a meme going around on Facebook lately where people are listing what they’re grateful for. Well, I’m grateful I’m not a hapless bovine being industrially processed into my component parts to grace your dinner table. Or worse, your hamburger bun.

And so we roll.

Home Plate 2, 19719 Highway 34, Fort Morgan, Colorado

and Home Plate 1, 306 Edmunds Street, Brush, Colorado.

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.

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