We ain’t playing around for our MayDay Danger Party this Saturday. I went out to Kalustyan’s, where they have a pretty amazing selection of hot sauces. They even had the Melinda’s Naga Jolokia sauce about $2 cheaper than the place I bought mine. I stood in the aisle for quite a while, memorized at all the crazy ass labels. Brought four interesting ones back to the office to try. Note that I’ve been running on the Melinda’s ghost pepper sauce, so maybe my tolerance is different –not to sound macho or like Randy Savage. Here are my thoughts as I go…

1) Swamp Gator hot sauce (Gator Hammock, $6.99) – Not too spicy, more easy pour, somewhat cajun flavor with that cayenne peppers and garlic. I remember my friend Ryan had this in his cupboard and thought it was tasty on whatever we were eating. This is more like a dousing sauce. Go Gators!

2) Rectal Rocket Fuel (Sauce Crafters, $5.99) – Not really too spicy on first bite. Slight afterkick, but still not bad. My butt did feel sweaty, but it might have already been that way.

3) Dumb Ass sauce (Southwest Specialty Food, $7.99) – dumb, not spicy. vinegary smelling. wtf? …I guess it’s a standard habanero sauce. Any other day, this could be a good go-to hot sauce on my baked beans.

4) Blair’s Ultra Death Sauce with Jersey Fury (Extreme Food, $12.99) – Made with Bhut Jolokia (Ghost Pepper) and Habanero. Smells kinda like dates. Tastes similar to Melinda’s, but sweet on first taste, then the kick comes swelling in and hotter than Melinda’s. Feeling it now. Alright now, I’m sweating. Staying with me. 5mins later. still sweating, and still feeling the heat in my mouth. Feels good though. Seems to enhance the food more than drown it out with heat. I suppose because this is just a dab. You really gotta do this one dab or droplet at a time. …I think I just got high off this. I wonder if I can get fired for hot sauce.

I’ll be bringing these hot sauces, including Melinda’s, whole dried Ghost Pepper pods & chocolate truffles to the party Saturday for you guys to try. Feel free to bring your own favorite hot sauce to show off or maybe a loaf of bread to soak up the spice.

About The Author

Jason Lam

Food blogger since 2008. Hair model since 2003.

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