Iâ€™m happy to have Tio Wally (long-time Me So Hungry reader) aboard to send in his eating adventures from across America. Here he is in Milton, Pennsylvania.
Greetings from Milton, Pennsylvania
N 40Â° 57.850â€™Â W 076Â° 50.540â€™Â Elev. 485 ft.
Ah, Pennsylvania. Home of the Liberty Bell, which, by the way, is cracked not because it was fervently rung to celebrate â€œfreedomâ€ but, rather, was a flawed cast, defective. So much for iconic bells. And so was my meal at Good Wilâ€™s Restaurant, Bakery & Creamery in Milton. Flawed and mostly defective.
At Good Wilâ€™s I ordered, with bated breath, a Ham Pot Pie. It was on the menu, printed right there for all to read. A regular menu item! Itâ€™s got to be good. I was excited: This is going to be great! After all, What is a pot pie? Itâ€™s a pie: crust top and bottom and filled with … whatever. Well, not so much at Good Wilâ€™s. Actually, not at all.
At Good Wilâ€™s I was served a bowl of gummy, grammar school paste-worthy pieces of … crap, with a little bland (boiled?) ham thrown in to break up the visual desert of the tasteless bowl of muck. Iâ€™d seen these rubbery, gummy squares of â€œnoodlesâ€ elsewhere but they were always pawned off as â€œdumplingsâ€, which they also are not. Noodles are noodles, dumplings are dumplings, and dumplings are never square. Flat is impossible in the dumpling world, just as crust is a must for pies. Suffice to say, it was not a pot pie, much less a â€œhamâ€ pot pie.
I was told later that the pile of paste masquerading as pot pie is a Dutch thing. Fine. But whereâ€™s the pie? Why in the hell are they calling it a â€œpieâ€ when there is no pie? This is wrong, wrong, wrong. Sinfully wrong.
Rather than bitch more, Iâ€™ll say this: The Ham Pot Pie at Good Wilâ€™s would make for a great source of glue for any five-year-oldâ€™s arts-and-crafts project; any self-respecting 8-year-old would reject it as an unsuitable adhesive posthaste. Other than the fact that it was so bland, so completely devoid of flavor that even a Chrysler Building-size pepper mill couldnâ€™t redeem it, it wasnâ€™t completely inedible. But I say that only because I was starving, and … it came with two sides.
I chose Baked Lima Beans and Harvard Beets as my sides. The baked lima beans were another Dutch treat (read: surprise). I thought theyâ€™d be oven-baked or something unusual. No. They were baked as in â€œbaked beans.â€ They were okay but, sheesh, what a waste of perfectly good lima beans.
The â€œHarvardâ€ Beets, however, were awesome. They serve beets warm in the Northeast â€” I donâ€™t know why â€” and I love â€˜em. I have a thing about certain foods and beets are one of them. There simply is no way to prepare beets incorrectly. (Iâ€™ve thought about frying them.) Serve them warm, cold, call them â€œHarvardâ€ or â€œYaleâ€, it doesnâ€™t matter: Theyâ€™re beets,which canâ€™t be beat! No wrong can possibly be done.
But the real redeemer of my visit to Good Wilâ€™s was this: I was walking back from the restroom and noticed, in the pie case, a little sign that read: Rice Pudding $1.99. The rice pudding appeared to be in giant sundae cups. I figured it was some mistake. But no.
Rice pudding is hard to find. Homemade rice pudding is nonexistent. You never see it. Moreover, I had a choice: with or without raisins. I went with the raisins. It came generously topped with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, and was truly awesome. Heck, it almost made up for the fact that I was sold a phony Ham Pot Pie with little ham, no crust, but plenty of paste. Almost.
And so we roll.
Good Wilâ€™s Restaurant, Bakery & Creamery, 24 Weavers Lane, Milton, Pennsylvania
Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.