It was supposed to be a Dudes Night Out, right before Thursday Night Online UNO on the Playstation 3. The Thrillist.com had an all you can eat pork rib, a couple sides and all you can drink beer deal for $29. That’s a great deal, considering Hill Country is kinda pricey. Unfortunately the other dudes were too slow. The day they went to buy their ticket, the deal was sold out. To be fair, the site did say there was 6 days remaining to get the deal with no indication of a cap.

Okay, no problem. My friends still wanted to eat with me since I bought my ticket. Brahs stick together. The only problem was Hill Country wouldn’t let me sit with them. Everyone at the table had to have the deal. Wait, so I’m going to try to stuff my face and drink as much as I can in two hours by myself, staring at a wall? What a shitty deal. I have a closet I can do that in any time I want.

I know a lot of restaurants have this rule for all you can eat specials and tasting menus, but what about exceptions? The deal is sold out. My friends have no option to get it. Even if they did, what about vegetarians or people who don’t drink? What if someone was pork-free Muslim? You’re telling him he has to eat pig ribs if he wants to sit with his friends? The funny thing is I’m bringing a bunch of extra people who are ordering off the regular menu and going to end up spending more than I am. We can’t sit together?

I know. The problem is the potential sharing my all you can ribs and beer. Thanks for making me feel like a criminal before I even come in. I remember when I was a teenager and went to Godfather’s pizza with my friend Bill Brown. He got the pizza buffet. I got just a salad buffet. I finished quickly and Bill Brown wanted to use my plate for his discarded pizza crusts. The next time we came back a month later, I wanted the pizza buffet this time. The cashier lady said, “Okay, but I’m going to charge you twice because you ate pizza last time.” What? They never saw me eat pizza, because I didn’t. They accused me because of leftover crusts on my plate. How about giving your patrons the benefit of the doubt. Treat them like customers, not crooks.

Anyway, I know I am bitching over all you can rib and beer. Stupid. I tried to make the best out of it and go during the Jets/Patriots game this past Sunday, so I didn’t have to stare at a wall for two hours. I sat there for a while before someone realized I was there. Tables after me were getting their order taken. But I understand. It’s hard to notice a single guy at a table alone, because why would anyone go there alone for an all you can eat deal? I’m sure they thought I was waiting for my friends. They started me out with cole slaw, sweet potato mash, corn bread and one and a half ribs. It’s okay, the second time they gave me seven ribs. Although the guy who brought it out didn’t look so happy when he realized it was just me. I felt I got justice there.

So yeah, I guess it was still a good deal. Just get your friends to buy their tickets early. Or wait until they buy before you buy yours. But maybe they’d get stuck going alone. Shit. There’s an interesting deal right now on the Thrillist for a steak, a cocktail and a lap dance at the Scores strip club – $50. That’s a really good deal. Their steak got a good review from the NY Times. I suppose a lap dance isn’t so bad if I had to do it alone.

Hill Country Barbecue – 30 W 26th St (btwn Broadway & 6th Ave) New York, NY 10010

About The Author

Jason Lam

Food blogger since 2008. Hair model since 2003.

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