We were on our way up to Massachusetts for Diana and Abel’s wedding. I was going to officiate. My first time. We stopped at Burgers, Shakes & Fries in Darien, Connecticut. The running joke in the car was “I wonder what they have there.”

Pretty decent food here. The tator tots had cheese. The chicken sandwiches were good. Although, I don’t understand why Rebecca’s BBQ chicken sandwich (fried chicken strip on a bun) was totally different from my Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (grilled chicken strip on toast). It was under the same “Build Your Own Chicken Sandwich” section. If it was up to me, I’d get it fried on a bun like Rebecca’s. If it was up to her, she’d probably ordered grilled on toast like mine.

So during our meal, I confessed to everyone that I just looked up the other night what a officiant is supposed to do and realized that weddings and marriages were all bullshit. I didn’t get it. I felt like a fraud going into this wedding.

Rebecca told me how when her and Ross got married recently, they took different parts of weddings from different religions. One that was a Jewish thing with a blanket …and somehow that symbolized that a marriage is between two people and a wedding is about the community (your friends and family supporting your bond). Then it clicked. I got it. That makes a lot more sense. For some reason, I thought weddings were a selfish thing. But it really is more about your family and friends witnessing and supporting two people’s bond, promise and vow to each other. I buy that.

When I took the stage the next day, I threw away the script at the last minute and my speech was mostly about our trip to Burgers, Shakes & Fries. How up until then I thought weddings were bullshit, but now I get it. This wedding is for you guys, the family and friends in attendance. Also now I get that even though I can’t understand the idea of a marriage vow for myself, I can understand that Diana and Abel must be strong people to be willing to stick it out with each other till death do us part. The kids liked it when I cursed.

Burgers, Shakes & Fries – 800 Post Road. Darien, CT 06820

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