Tio Wally Eats America: KFC’s Chunky Chicken Pot Pie

If you sail the Interstates for a living, eating fast food is an inevitability. Eventually you will be tired enough or hungry enough or it will be the only thing available or whatever. It’s going to happen. While I avoid fast food as much as possible, sometimes there are actually good things to be had, occasionally at a reasonable price.

Here’s another example:

I have a very dear friend who hates — HATES! — Kentucky Fried Chicken chicken with a frighteningly deep-seated passion. I don’t understand why, exactly. But I suspect he’s hated it since before Yum! Brands bought Harlan Sanders’ singular claim to fame and changed the name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC, effectively removing any charm the chain ever had. Yet he likes either Swanson or Banquet (frozen) Fried Chicken; I can’t remember which brand.

But what does this too-wordy, purely aberrational introductory unconclusion mean to you? Absolutely nothing. I’m merely highlighting another one of life’s mysteries that the entire crew of the SS Me So Hungry has failed to figure out. Heck, even crack lead navigator Skippy scratches his head; of course, he’s always scratching his head. (Does scurvy make your head itch too?)

Personally, I kind of like KFC’s Original Recipe fried chicken. Sure, it’s greasy and grossly overpriced but I like it. However, I rarely eat it. The only time I do is when I run across an all-you-can-eat Colonel’s Buffet, it costs less than $6, I can park nearby, and there’s not much else around.

There is something KFC makes, however, that I think even my friend would like, especially if he didn’t know it was from KFC: Chunky Chicken Pot Pie.

Lord knows it’s hard to find a good chicken pot pie anywhere, much less on the road. And as we’ve learned, sometimes a pot pie isn’t even a pot pie at all. Lately, however, KFC has reintroduced its Chunky Chicken Pot Pie, and they are excellent. In fact, I was trying to think of when I’d had better and couldn’t.

It’s rather bizarre: KFC introduced them years ago, had them for a while and then suddenly didn’t. Then the pies reappeared and just as quickly disappeared again. Hell, they became the chicken pot pie equivalent of sea serpents — you never knew when they were going to pop up.

Currently KFC is offering its Now-you-see-’em-Now-you-don’t Chunky Chicken Pot Pies for $3.99. And unlike a certain Pennsylvania Dutch concoction, it actually resembles a pie, with a light, flaky crust (top only) that’s chock full of chunks of chicken, carrots, potatoes and peas, all bathed in a tasty gravy.

But are the decent-sized (6”?) pies really worth $4? YES!

Why the geniuses at Yum! Brands don’t keep the Chunky Chicken Pot Pie as a regular menu item is beyond me. With any luck they will. They’re delicious and, according to at least one Colonel-ette, extremely popular. More importantly, I love ‘em.

I wonder: Did a signature white-suited Harlan contact Yum! Brands from the afterlife to persuade and/or haunt them into reintroducing Chunky Chicken Pot Pies without consulting me, without giving me a courtesy heads-up?

Freakin’ clown! Oh, wait. Wrong McRestaurant.

—> Note: The museum-quality photo of the Yum! Brands KFC Chunky Chicken Pot Pie box, while unquestionably “a Classic”, was taken on the step of the yacht. To the best of my knowledge there are no fuel vapors and/or risk of explosion associated with KFC’s Chunky Chicken Pot Pie. Indeed, it’s merely another example of freakin’ trucks screwing up my inimitable, world-class photography. Nevertheless, I wish to extend my sincerest apologies for any alarm and/or confusion this unfortunate photographic merger may have caused. Please be aware, however, that while (to the best of my knowledge) a KFC Chunky Chicken Pot Pie will not release harmful vapors and/or explode, its contents are, in fact, HOT, and should only be eaten with appropriate caution. Enjoy! <—

And so we roll.

KFC, nationwide

Tio Wally pilots the 75-foot, 40-ton(max) land yacht SS Me So Hungry. He reports on road food from around the country whenever parking and InterTube connections permit.